Monday, January 31, 2011

The Bach

Make fun of us if you want, but Jared and I started watching the Bachelor(ette) with a few other couples friends this past summer. One couple, Blakely and Lindsey Cragun moved down to Texas in September and we've missed watching it with them this season! Linds says she misses my cynical comments during each episode, so Linds, it's your lucky day because we kept a running commentary tonight! (Chase and Dana weren't feeling good, so we just watched it by ourselves)

-Chantal wears too much blush, blah!

-Poor Emily

-Michelle is a freak show!

-Drive a little faster Britt, you’re going about 15 mph

-The producers are evil for making Emily go on this date

-I’d be forcing a smile too if I were Emily too!

-Poor Brad, feeling like a jerk

-She’s very gracious, I just like her

-You can do it!!

-She’s got guts

-Oh gosh, grow up girls, Emily has just been through a traumatic experience!!

-Wow that Ali girl is sketch, get over yourself!

-Ali, just go home

-All of the girls cry in front of him, Chantal, big deal

-Don’t do it, don’t cry, don’t cry

-Stop complaining!

-Yeah just casually drop the L bomb in there

-Smooth. . .

-Crap she did cry

-Brad: “Don’t cry babe” gag, me!

-Hello Brad, 8 girls on one date, of course they are going to be emotional!

-“They are all psychopaths!” (Jared about all the girls)

-Come on Chantal, have some self-confidence, you don’t need a man to make you feel special!

-Did I already mention that Michelle is a freak show?!

-Michelle: “There are a lot of immature girls here. . . “ Yeah just like you

-“Your’re retarded for liking her (Michelle)” (Jared in reference to Brad)

-“Oh he likes her a lot Stace!” (Jared about Emily)

-Why is he wearing sunglasses inside??

-Nothing speaks romance like swinging around in a circle and having some random man hold you up 20 feet up in the air. . . by your ankle. . . and upside down nonetheless

-“They’re gonna drop on their faces and it’s gonna be funny!” (Jared)

-Ashley S. is a super awkward dancer, I could do better than that!

-Those poor people who have to watch the amateurs during the show

-Ha, is he wearing spandex?

-Just send one home, don’t try to make them feel better before you break it off with one of them!

-“I bet his therapist told him to follow his heart. . .” (Jared)

-It’s okay Ashley S. you’re too young for him anyway

-“He kept the psychopath!” (Jared)

-“I’ll punch you in the stomach, do you want me to punch you in the stomach???” (Jared in reference to Ashley S.)

-“Is she throwing up? Because it sounds like it” (Jared)

-Perfect background music for Ashley S. as she bawls in the limo

-LOL Jared likened Ashley S’s departing throw up sounds to Lloyd’s facial reaction after he sees Harry with Mary on Dumb and Dumber!!

-Of course he calls his therapist, he can’t handle his own dating life, come on Brad, shape up!

-The therapist's lines are scripted, who really talks like that??

-Chantal's hair is greasy, eww! And her bangs need some serious help

-If you don't need drama in your life Brad, then you'd better get rid of at least half those girls!

-There's no way he remembered Ali wore green on the first night! Somebody replayed him the video from the first night!

-Oh crap, is Marissa going to give him a note?? Way to take us all back to the 9th grade!

-Michelle is attacking him!!

-He looks really uncomfortable right now. . .

-"Shut up, I hate her, she's like dominatrix!!" (Jared about Michelle)

-"Gosh, punch her in the face!" (Jared in response to Michelle getting a rose)

-I like Jackie's smile

-Don't cry, he's not worth it

-Uh, you were rejected, of course you are going to feel like that!

What'd you think?! We're rooting for Emily and Jackie, they are the only normal ones in the whole bunch!


Emily Blais said...

so so funny! You failed to mention the fact that Ashley S. was wearing an orange silly band on her left wrist during their 2 on one date. Too young? What is she, 10?

Natalie said...

Loved it! :) I'll admit it, I watch The Bachelor, too! :) I really like Emily! And, Michelle is a psycho, for sure!

lehi + sasha said...

man... all these bachelor blog posts from different bloggers are making me want to watch the show. is it that good?

p.s i love that jared watches with you. haha... i make lehi watch the kardashians with me.

lindseycragun said...

YES! Thanks for the shout out. we hadn't watched this weeks episode yet so I had your post up while we were watching and it was almost as good as having you there :) Love you guys

Sugar... said...

These are hilarious...probably because you two are the last two people on the earth that I would have suspected would watch The Bachelor! LOL! I will admit though, once you get in, you can't get out!